"Why not?" I asked. "I love you more than anyone in the world. And it's just us here, no one has to know." But, I'm not a lesbian." She said."You don't have to be. You only need to enjoy being touched by someone who loves you, like I do. So much." She paused and seemed to consider it. "It has been a long time since I've been touched..." she said."I want to make you feel good. Please?"She smile. "Our secret," she said, laying back down next to me.I nodded. I couldn't believe it! It was like 100. There was a pleasant ocean breeze. I looked for pelicans but couldn't see any.We ate lunch at an unfortunately sunny picnic table overlooking the beautiful green hills. The hills were interspersed with piles of red-brown rocks and glimpses of white-capped ocean. I could only choke down an apple and some bread due to the nausea.Dave ate most of my lunch since he hadn't brought one. I felt a little better after drinking a gatorade packed inside the lunchbox.“ It's all downhill from here,” said. Sexual. Like viscerally sexual. I felt like... I dunno, a grown-up I guess? A real person for once. A person who could throw a punch, and hurt somebody and be OK with that. It made me want to fuck and eat a cheeseburger in no particular order.Anyway since then Ethan has been looking a little.. I dunno man-boy to me. The shit I used to think was confidence now seems like lazyness, his bravado seems like dim-wittedness. I know he hasn't changed. It's the same him, the same shit, but I'm different. " Brody held the door open for her."Thanks." Ryan's excitement dropped a few notches. Brody looked and sounded far different than he had on the phone earlier. "You okay?" Sure. What's up?" He closed the door."I, um, I have news." Yeah? Good news?" Yeah. We got picked up for the tour." She couldn't stop a grin."Hey, that's great."Ryan was taken back at his muted reaction. "It is. Ah, Lara called today and told me. We're all pretty excited. I'll be anxious and all in a few days, but for now it's.
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